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Archives for December 17, 2012
It Starts at Home
I feel compelled to discuss the horrible tragedy that our world experienced three days ago in Newtown, Conn. Words cannot express the deep sadness I feel for the families who lost their loved ones in that senseless crime. No parent should ever experience the loss of a child. The horror that those children experienced is too real, and it hits home since the kindergartners who lost their lives were just one year older than Lucas, and two years younger than William.
A day after the tragedy, I mentioned on Facebook that I intended to take away my boys’ Lego guns and all video games that aren’t completely innocent. Honestly, I’m a little shocked by the comments I received. Apparently, there is passion about this “gun control” debate. There were more of my friends who disagreed with me than agreed. I just can’t fathom the need for guns–even toy ones–in the home. In fact, I’ve read that accidents involving guns happen more frequently when guns are in the home. And with this tragedy in mind, would the victims have benefited–as was suggested by one of my friends–from having guns themselves? I suppose it’s possible, but I shudder to imagine a world where guns are needed in the classroom.
I understand that boys will be boys. There’s something inborn that drives a two-year-old boy who has never seen a gun to pick up a stick and start “shooting” with it. My boys have done this. My Facebook friends mentioned this as a reason for not taking away Lego guns and video games. I’m sorry, but this doesn’t hold up for me. A stick requires a boy’s imagination. My boys’ Lego guns, though miniature, look very realistic. I’d rather compel my boys to imagine what a gun would look and feel like than to have the idea defined for them.
With a husband in the military, I certainly understand that weapons are necessary to protect our nation’s freedom. However, I see no connection to the need for guns in the home. If we have military and police to protect us, and if we could potentially cause harm with a gun, why not let the professionals keep them? And don’t even try to convince me of the need for guns for hunting. At the risk of offending anyone, to kill innocent animals for sport sickens me.
It’s become very clear that the Newtown shooter had mental health issues. I understand that this idea probably deserves more attention than any gun control debate, but I still contend that if guns weren’t around, the tragedy might not have happened.
This leads me to my second concern: video games. It’s entirely possible that video games, especially realistic, first-person shooter games, cause a form of mental illness in their own right. Just two weeks ago, I came across an article that discusses the effect of video games on the developing brain. It says that video games can impede a child’s or teen’s ability to control anger. Video games, the article says, create violence. The frontal lobe of the brain isn’t fully developed until the late teens or early twenties, so while an older teen make look and act like an adult, the brain is still immature.
Here’s a quote from the article:
“Most worrying of all was that the frontal lobe, which continues to develop in humans until the age of about 20, also has an important role to play in keeping an individual’s behaviour in check.
Whenever you use self-control to refrain from lashing out or doing something you should not, the frontal lobe is hard at work.
Children often do things they shouldn’t because their frontal lobes are underdeveloped. The more work done to thicken the fibres connecting the neurons in this part of the brain, the better the child’s ability will be to control their behaviour. The more this area is stimulated, the more these fibres will thicken.
The students who played computer games were halting the process of brain development and affecting their ability to control potentially anti-social elements of their behaviour.
‘The importance of this discovery cannot be underestimated,’ Kawashima told The Observer.”
Powerful words. This is why I say that it all starts at home. While there’s not much I can do for society when it comes to mental illness, I certainly can reduce the risk that my own children will be driven to violence. It reminds me of a quote that I’ve seen on Facebook. It says, “Don’t worry so much about the planet you leave to your children. Worry about the children you leave to the planet.”
In our every-child-gets-a-trophy generation, parents seem to be afraid to do anything that might upset a child. And when video games create some quiet in the home, many parents allow free access to them, causing an addiction of sorts in the child. When a child is addicted, taking the games away causes that much more fear and panic in the parent. Taking it a step further, if a child has been allowed free access to video games–especially violent ones–and if the evidence presented in the above article is true, then it’s entirely possible that the child would act violently toward the parent who takes the games away.
It’s for these reasons and more that I’m taking action in my home today. It’s one small thing I can do to honor those who lost their lives that fateful day. My boys certainly have no need for their Lego guns or video games. (While I’ve always had an issue with toy weapons, these things have slowly made their way into my home.) When I explained to William–in very vague terms–what happened in Newtown, he understood and agreed that it would be good to take the guns away. While Star Wars has been a recent obsession, he volunteered the idea that he could just play with his Lego City Legos. I’m really proud of him for this.
I haven’t yet discussed the video game concern with my boys, and I suspect I might meet some disagreement there. But it wasn’t long ago that I put their “violent” games (Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones) away for a while, and they didn’t seem to miss them. If my boys do put up a fight when I say that I’m taking the games away, that’s all the more reason that I should take them away. I think I’ll take them to Game Stop and let them make a trade for non-violent games for themselves.
Ultimately, when it comes down to it, my boys’ lives won’t be affected in any negative way when I take these things away. They have many more toys. Honestly, I miss seeing them play with completely innocent toys. Just today, I saw them push the Legos aside in favor of their bin of animals. This doesn’t happen often, and it made me smile. And in fact, if they decide that all other video games are too boring, then great! They won’t want to play as much, which is perfectly fine with me!
If my small action can help in the tiniest bit to prevent another senseless tragedy, then I see no reason not to. Who’s with me?
(This is a contentious issue. I welcome your comments, but please speak respectfully.)