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Archives for December 14, 2012
Remember to Cherish
This beautiful post is written by my friend Charisa. A mom to two young girls, Charisa is great at balancing training and obedience with love and fun. This post is about stopping to smell the roses, even when we’re mired in kid world.
It’s 3:00 in the afternoon and my coffee is already wearing off. It’s too late to brew another cup, but I’m questioning what will hold me until bedtime. I start to ask myself why I didn’t set bedtime for 6:00 instead of 8:00 when they were littler. If I had then I would be two hours closer to putting these little bundles of energy to bed.
It’s now 4:00 and only one hour after I last checked the clock. How is it that I’m still so far away from bedtime and peace and quiet? It’s now 5:00 and finally I can start preparing for dinner. This will fill the time! Now we’ve finally hit 7:30, and it’s time for the bedtime routine. Rush, rush, rush, and get them into bed. Finally, it’s 8:00 and all’s well. The kids are in bed, and now I can have some peace and quiet.
If you’re like me, this can sometimes characterize your day. I so easily want to rush through those hard times in order to get to the easier times. But what gain is there in that? We have heard it said many times that the hard times make for sweeter good times. That is true of many things. For example, think of all that labor you went through. Those contractions, those moans and groans, and the waiting. Now remember that moment you saw that sweet little squished face for the first time. All legs, arms, fingers, and head squirming and screaming on your chest. The pain was worth it.
Now, fast forward with me to today. Your toddler is literally sitting on your foot all day. Arms and legs are wrapped around yours, and she won’t get off. Your preschooler is asking you a hundred questions or simply narrating your day. Your infant is in a growth spurt and wants to eat every hour. Pain? Well, maybe not pain, but definitely hard. Wiping spit, wiping bottoms, wiping noses, wiping counters, wiping slobber marks off the window…that is what my day can look like. When 3:00 or 4:00 rolls around, I’m beat.
I sincerely try to train my kids to be good adults. That’s my aim and goal. Sometimes in the work of training I forget to cherish. To be honest, sometimes in the midst of the work I even forget to train! I know it is important to teach my girls to obey right away. It’s so important to teach them that the way to play with the pink pen is to simply ask and not to do a half-nelson-choke-hold. These are all lessons that must happen. They often are addressed in the middle of life. “Momming” is hard. I know it is. I can check out sometimes or start looking at the clock (which immediately stops working) waiting for bedtime. My point is that there are many distractions from the joys of being a parent. The joy I have in being a mom can easily be smothered by the chaos of life.
A friend has shared with me many times “the days are long, but the years are short.” I share that with you, too. Kiss those sweet heads again, cherish those little bottoms on your feet, and listen to those flowing words from the mouth of your dear one.
Remember it is a privilege to be a part of those special little lives. Your work is hard. It is exhausting, but it does not last forever. The years fly by and we will be left with nothing but memories. No little girls begging for tickles. No little boys ready to tackle you. No little tea parties or games of Candyland.
I look at my youngest daughter’s face and I’m blown away. She has grown so much in these last 3 years. My (almost) 5-year-old is getting more mature and more complex every day. I miss how she used to say “watabellabella” instead of “watermelon.” She is half my size now and I can barely carry her anymore. She fills my lap to overflowing.
Sometimes in order to cherish the time with my girls, I need to strategize. I make a point to write down all the cute things they say. I’m on the lookout for sayings. I find that if I make a goal of writing down one or two things a day, I hear more of them. As I hear more of them, I relish them. I become more in-tune with them. I also make a point to hug and kiss them every time I’m next to them. It’s just what I do. Another thing I like to do is jump in and play with them throughout the day for bits of time. I’ll turn up the radio and dance with them in the living room, or I’ll sit on the floor next to them and ask questions. Just little things, but they all help me to take time and enjoy my girls. What sorts of things do you do to help you to stop and smell the stinky feet?
The training is important. Dinner on the table is important, and so is clean laundry. But of utmost importance are those children! They will not keep. They will grow even if you don’t remember that they will. They are a one-way busy street that can never be traveled again.
So kiss those sweet heads. Give extra hugs. Play one last game. Remember to cherish them.