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Archives for May 10, 2012
Consistent bedtime
By Bethany Lynch, TheGracefulMom.com
Bedtime is one of the main sleep issues that parents struggle with in children. The problems range from developmental disturbances and nap-related disturbances to summer activities. Occasionally, it is also a temptation to relax the bedtime routine out of guilt.
As a working mom, having a consistent bedtime has been a lifesaver…one of my top tips. However, it is often tempting to be much more permissive about bedtime and blame it on not getting enough quality time with our kids.
Permissiveness leads to inconsistency.
Letting my kids stay up late out of guilt is not quality time for me or for them. I am a much better mom by having well-rested children, and they love having a well-rested mom. We also make few exceptions.
Some, yes, but not many. We have left parties early, sent strict notes to the grandparents, and put a lot of effort into establishing an efficient routine.
Here is how we did it:
- Stick to the plan. Once bedtime routine starts, there is hardly any variation. Ours is brush teeth, pajamas, pick/read a book, say prayers, sing a song, tuck in, lights out, door closed.
- Establish consequences for purposely not obeying the bedtime routine. The first consequence is losing the privilege of picking the book. The
second consequence is losing the privilege of reading a book. Last would be going straight to bed the second pjs are on, but rarely, if ever, have we gotten to that point. - Make bedtime a priority. I usually start picking or guiding activities about 15-30 minutes before our bedtime routine starts. For
example, if bathtime runs long, then any TV time before bed is either eliminated or cut short. We also aim to be home before bedtime and
carefully choose activities that will not compete with getting home close to bedtime. - Do not over-analyze bedtime difficulties. It is very common for toddlers to have bedtime disruptions around 2 years old and again when
naptime needs to be shortened. I have been there, and I tried everything. It almost always comes back to staying consistent. See #1! - Cherish the routine and make it work. If bathtime takes too long every night, try every other night or 3 nights a week. If you have a
special family event, do not be a slave to the routine. That is the beauty of the -wise series…flexibility when you need it. I have also
had some of the best conversations ever with my children during bedtime. Some nights I stay for extra kisses, cuddles, and questions. My son also knows that once the door is closed, it stays closed. My daughter with SPD sometimes gets a 2nd check if she has an extremely hard time soothing herself.
Start as you mean to go on and know that bedtime can be enjoyable for everyone!