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Count timeout minutes in public
On Monday, I discussed the importance of correcting in private and praising in public. On Wednesday, I explained how to do timeouts in public when necessary. Today, I will offer a technique that will enable you to discipline your child in public while still maintaining privacy. This technique is also more effective and long-lasting than issuing a timeout in public.
Count timeout minutes
Here’s how it works. When you’re out in public and doing your best to praise your child’s behaviors, but he misbehaves anyway, tell him he will have two (or five) minutes on his bed when you get home. Say it quietly but confidently. Then explain to him that you will add or subtract minutes until your errand, play date, or restaurant visit is over.
I use this technique quite a bit with my boys, so here’s how it works for us:
- William starts acting up in the grocery store, jumping from colored tile to colored tile.
- I don’t yell at him to stop. I don’t try to grab him to get him to stop. I don’t try to call his name and get his attention (especially if it’s crowded and there’s no room to stop).
- I simply say, “That’s two minutes on your bed.”
- He stops what he’s doing immediately and looks to me for an explanation.
- As we walk, I tell him that he can earn minutes back by showing me good behavior.
- I also tell him that I will add minutes if he continues to make poor choices.
Follow through
This is where the rubber meets the road when using this technique. When you get home, you must issue the timeout! If you don’t, the technique simply won’t work. Your child won’t believe you next time and will think, Yeah, that’s just mom trying to get out of disciplining me in public. Set a timer and make sure you give your child the exact number of minutes you promised. Then follow every other rule described in this post on timeouts the Ezzo way or this one on timeout tips.
For little ones who don’t understand time
Lucas, age 4, is still young enough to not really understand the concept of time. But this technique works with him. He understands what a timeout is and knows that a longer timeout is worse than a shorter one.
If you think adding and subtracting minutes might be too abstract a concept, use something more concrete. You might make laminated cards each worth one minute and hand them to the child as he misbehaves. You might carry marbles and hand him one for each minute in timeout. Be sure to explain that these are timeout marbles and not some prized possession!
Chime in!
Do you have some inventive technique you use to discipline your child in public? If so, please share!
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