Tips for Successful Breastfeeding

April 11, 2013 by 3 Comments

Source: breastfeedingfriendly.wordpress.com

By Emily Parker, www.journeyofparenthood.com

There are many areas of parenting that are debatable. We all have our own opinions and ideas about what is “best” and many times those ideas may clash with what others believe is “best” for their children. One of the few parenting choices that is not debatable is regarding breastfeeding. Everyone knows that breast milk is the BEST nutrition for our babies. Even formula companies compete with each other to see who can be the “closest thing to breast milk.”

While we all know breast milk is the best source of nutrition, we all have to make the personal choice whether or not to breastfeed. I know many, many mothers choose not to nurse their babies and this isn’t a post to make anyone feel guilt over that choice. Instead, this is a post to encourage those who do want to breastfeed and to share my personal experiences and what helped me to be successful with it when nursing my children.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my son, I wasn’t sure what kind of mom I would be. The idea of nursing kinda bugged me and I didn’t know if I even wanted to do it. Yet the more I learned about the benefits of breast milk for my baby, the more passionate about it I became. I nursed my son exclusively for nine months and he had a mixture of breast milk and formula until a year old. With my daughter I was very confident in my nursing abilities and nursed her exclusively until 11 months when I started to introduce whole milk into her diet then fully weaned her at 13 months.

If you’re pregnant and considering breastfeeding, here are some things I have learned that can help you be successful, and NONE of them have to do with the actual nursing process itself!

1. Pretend formula doesn’t exist: You know that years ago moms didn’t have any other option. Nursing was the ONLY method available. It may sound silly but if you pretend like there ISN’T any other option out there, then you are more likely to be successful in nursing, because you simply aren’t going to consider anything else!

2. Buy a top of the line breast pump and OPEN it: I bought a Medela Freestyle pump when I was pregnant with my son. That junk ain’t cheap. We spent well over $300 on it. I was hesitant to open it. What if I couldn’t nurse? What if I didn’t want to? What if I gave up? My husband told me to open it because knowing we couldn’t return it would be a BIG motivator to keep on nursing, no matter what!

3. Don’t buy ANY formula: Keep your house formula free. Throw out (or sell!) those samples you get in the mail. Turn down offers from people who are getting rid of their left over cans. During times when you feel like throwing in the towel it will not be EASY to give up. It will require a trip to the store to buy the formula and by the time you actually go get it you will probably just decide to continue nursing. :)

4. Know that you CAN do it: I think most new moms, like myself, worry we won’t be able to breastfeed. It was my #1 fear when I became a mom for the first time. My husband actually asked during our breastfeeding basics class at the hospital about how many women really cannot breastfeed at all. The lactation specialist said that with the right attitude and motivation, pretty much everyone CAN do it!

5. Share your goals: Husband support is SO critical. Without Zach being there, helping me, supporting me, encouraging me, and even giving me some “tough love” in the early days of breastfeeding, I truly do not think I would have been successful with it. As mothers we tend to have our first concern be for our children. Our husbands tend to have their first concerns be about US. So when we struggle with nursing and feel like giving in, they just naturally want to help us and make our lives easier. They can’t understand what we are going through with nursing and many husbands will suggest quitting because they think it’s what will be best for us. Share your goals with your husband. He needs to be your biggest cheerleader!!!

6. Know it WILL be hard: I personally believe the #1 reason so many women don’t try or stop nursing early on is because we feel like we are failing when it is harder than we expect it to be. The media tends to paint this pretty picture of nursing…it’s supposed to come “naturally” and it should never hurt, etc. As a new mom everything is scary. You’re thrown into this entirely new situation and have a little life depending on YOU. When nursing does hurt, or it doesn’t come naturally, we freak out. We automatically feel like we are failing at our most important job as a parent, feeding our baby! We take it personally, like something is wrong with US and then we end up quitting because it gives us one less thing to worry about. I know because I’ve been there. I couldn’t for the life of me get my baby to latch properly. It hurt. I bled. I cried and cried during feedings for awhile. I’ve had mastitis, three times. I kept going through it all and guess what? The hard phase passes. It gets EASIER. Not just that, but it gets ENJOYABLE. There is nothing better than nursing a sweet baby and sharing that close bond together! I truly believe if new moms went into the nursing experience being prepared for it to be a little difficult and knowing that there will be struggles that more moms would tough it out. Just always, always remind yourself that the hard days will be over soon and that it is going to be worth it!!!

7. Have a goal, but take it one feeding at a time: With my son, my goal was to nurse him for three months. Once I got there, my goal became six months. Once I got there, my goal became nine months. With my daughter, my goal was a year and I went beyond that as well. I think having a long-term goal is great! However, it can also make you feel exhausted. On those tough days it can feel discouraging to think “omg, I have another year of this?” During those times it’s so important to just take it one feeding at a time. Get through that feeding and then have the goal of getting through the next. I had a close friend of mine who felt discouraged and frustrated with nursing but she kept going one feeding at a time and nursed much longer than when she initially wanted to stop. Every little drop of breast milk is SO good for your baby so even “one more feeding” is better than quitting!

While I am no breastfeeding expert by any means, I know that my personal success with nursing had more to do with my MIND than with my BODY. I truly believe that if moms who want to nurse go into it with these things on their mind, then they WILL be successful in it! Whether your goal is a week, a month, or a year, you CAN do it and you will be so thankful you did! :)

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Editor’s Note: Maureen here! Thanks for the wonderful post, Emily! I feel compelled to interject with a bit of my own personal breastfeeding experience — primarily to dispel a myth surrounding breastfeeding. Emily mentions a lactation specialist who told her that everyone can breastfeed. Well, I’m living proof that this is not true. When I was pregnant, I never considered anything but breastfeeding, and I went through all the trials and tribulations to get my son to latch properly and manage the pain and sensitivity of nursing. On top of that, we discovered his dairy intolerance at 6 weeks, and I spent 4 months off dairy so I could nurse my baby. Well, when he was about 3 months old and he didn’t have much baby chub, I realized that something wasn’t going according to plan. I saw a couple lactation consultants and was told that I was going to have to supplement with formula. Despite the colic and natural childbirth, this was one of the most painful days for me as a new mom.

So just know that if you aren’t able to breastfeed, you are not a failure. I agree with Emily that we should do all we can to successfully breastfeed. But if you can’t, it’s not the end of the world. Formula is not poison. You can love, care for, bond with, and nourish your baby in so many other ways. And here’s my little secret: I always felt closer to my babies when I was feeding them a bottle. I loved when they would look up, with both of their eyes, into my eyes while they ate. That right there made all the struggles so worth it.

Filed Under: miscellaneous

Help a Reader Out: Blanket Time

April 3, 2013 by 1 Comment

Thanks everyone for all your help with the comment I posted on Monday! Here’s another comment from a reader that I’m hoping you can help out with. This time, it’s about blanket time. Please reply with any advice you might have for this reader. The original comment is this:

I’ve been working on blanket time with my 22 month old for about 2 months now. We are up to 15 mins. She has specific toys she gets only during this time each morning. She does test me and try to get off the blanket and see if I correct her which I do and she obeys. But now she won’t play and focus on her toys. Do you think it’s a phase? She just lays there until the timer goes off. I do stay near to enforce the boundaries. Right now I give her 2 puzzles, blocks, and a sorting activity. She just isn’t enjoying it. Am I doing something wrong? Thanks.

My first thought is to say that this mom isn’t doing anything wrong. There’s no requirement with blanket time that our kids actually enjoy the time. Yes, it’s preferable if they do, but if they don’t, that’s okay. As long as she’s staying on the blanket until the timer goes off, that’s all we need to require. If I were the parent, I might switch out the toys to see if she is simply bored with the toys available to her. I wouldn’t stick with the same toys week after week if the child shows no interest in them. But all in all, if she’s staying on the blanket for the most part, I’d consider it a success! Just keep doing it and add a few minutes bit by bit until you get up to 30-45 minutes.

Does anybody have advice for this reader? It would be great to hear your experiences with blanket time.

Filed Under: first-time obedience, miscellaneous Tagged With: ,

Help a Reader Out: Naps

April 1, 2013 by 7 Comments

It’s Spring Break time here at my house, and as we head out of town, I thought I would use the opportunity to address some of my readers’ comments. I’m painfully behind in replying to comments. So if you’ve asked a question, pay attention this week to see if other readers have ideas for you. Everyone else, please take a minute to leave a comment and let me and the commenter know what you think about the question.

Today, we’re helping a reader out with naps. This comment was posted on my post about Moving to One Nap a Day. I still have a napper in my house. Lucas is 5.5 and still does so much better when he’s had a nap. But nonetheless, it’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with the nap transition.

Here’s the question. Please reply if you can help!

“Hi! My LO is almost a year. Will be a year in a week. She does a great first nap usually 10:30ish-12ish. But lately her second nap is all over the place, sometimes 3-4:30, or 3:30-5, or up and not napping at all. Or putting her down at 3/3:30 and she plays and is up, then finally going down at 4:30 then naps late. She may be teething though, but her first nap is always good. So I can’t figure out if it is teething or if she is needing just one nap? So looking for some advice. :)”

We all know what it’s like to have to troubleshoot nap problems. Teething can definitely get in the way, but we don’t always want to blame nap issues on teething, especially if one nap is working fine. I suppose my question is why the second nap starts at different times. I wonder if keeping consistent nap times would improve consistency with the second nap. Does anybody have any ideas?

Thanks!

Filed Under: miscellaneous Tagged With:

Babywise Week: Putting Baby First during the First Year

March 14, 2013 by Leave a Comment

It’s Babywise Blog Network Week again! All week, we’ll be featuring blog posts from other Babywise-friendly blogs. The schedule is as follows:

· Monday: Valerie Plowman, Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
· Tuesday: Maureen Monfore, Childwise Chat
· Wednesday: Bethany Lynch, The Graceful Mom
· Thursday: Emily Parker, Journey of Parenthood
· Friday: Surprise guest blogger

Today we hear from Emily Parker, author of Journey of Parenthood. Emily offers a wonderful post about family priorities during baby’s first year. As Babywise moms, we often have different priorities than other moms. We make sure we’re home for naps and stick to our schedules. It’s also about sacrifice because we know how important it is to have our babies on a schedule.

For you new moms I think it’s good to be warned: the first year is NOT easy. But by putting in the work now and making the sacrifices needed during that first year, it WILL make the second year (and third…and fourth…) such a joy! Hard work pays off and it pays off in a BIG WAY! Do not be discouraged. Do not feel guilt at the sacrifices your older children are having to make. Do not worry about your husband not getting as much quality time with you. This season of life is short. And by putting the needs of your baby first, your entire family will be greatly blessed!!!

This is my favorite quote from Emily’s post. She’s so right!

Filed Under: miscellaneous

Babywise Week: In High Demand

March 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

It’s Babywise Blog Network Week again! All week, we’ll be featuring blog posts from other Babywise-friendly blogs. The schedule is as follows:

· Monday: Valerie Plowman, Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
· Tuesday: Maureen Monfore, Childwise Chat
· Wednesday: Bethany Lynch, The Graceful Mom
· Thursday: Emily Parker, Journey of Parenthood
· Friday: Surprise guest blogger

For today’s Babywise Week post, we hear from Bethany, author of The Graceful Mom. Bethany is a mom of two who works outside the home. Her blog is a wonderful resource for working moms who want to do more than make it through the day. Although she’s not with her kids all day, Bethany has high expectations of them and doesn’t compromise on her expectations simply because she’s too busy.

In her post today, she talks about being in high demand as a professional, a mom, and a wife. It’s a challenge to maintain a balance and ensure that everybody gets what they need, Bethany included!

On days where I am feeling needed all around, I build in some time to sit down and reflect. I realize how difficult that can seem, but creating time to consider your expectations and re-prioritize or re-organize will most likely give you a whole new perspective.

This is my favorite quote from Bethany’s post. When we all feel like we’ve been stretched thin, stepping back and taking stock gives us great perspective.

Filed Under: miscellaneous

Life Is Not a Blog

March 6, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Source: momlogic.com

By Charisa Falcione

If you’re reading this blog then chances are you’re a “blog reader” (insightful, right?). Now being a blog reader is very helpful most of the time. I’m a blog reader. My feed is full of informative posts, updates from other friend’s family blogs, home organization blogs, home decorating blogs, food blogs, spiritual and religious blogs, and of course child-rearing blogs. All sorts of information is readily available to me. It’s wonderful!

Here I am, a simple lady raising two little girls, and I grab a cup of coffee and sit down to read a little something. Then, wham, bam, what hits me in the face? Pictures of beautiful kids, pristine, with bows in their hair. Kitchens perfectly organized, paint colors perfectly coordinated, home-sewn slipcovers, wall art made from someone else’s trash bits and then the ubiquitous picture of the gorgeous and fit mom with perfect make-up and styled hair wearing a fashion-forward outfit. UGH! I’m still in my PJs and my kids are wearing mismatched jammies, and probably one of them has a shirt on backwards or inside out! But which one is reality?! My life or that blog?

I’m hoping that my life is still considered reality. I think it is. I think reality is not necessarily what is on the blogs. Blogs are just a glimpse into what a perfect world could be. I find it helpful to remember that a blog is a resource and not really a measure of my life. If my life were a blog, it would look more like sticky fingerprints on the table, dust art on the tv, and toys-mageddon! You see, when I compare myself to what I see on the blogs or even when I speak to some of my friends, I can easily be discouraged, overwhelmed, or even mislead into thinking I’m a failure.

Here’s my advice on the issue of blogs in particular. Please enjoy them! Enjoy reading them, but never sit down and then insert your life into what you are reading! I like to sit and mentally file away one small tidbit or bit of advice for something I’d like to try. I also remind myself that those ladies who are looking so beautiful in the picture probably were in their over-sized bathrobes when they sat down to type their post, and their kids were probably yelling in the background too. And maybe a little hand or two reached up and started to push the keys on the laptop and so she had to delete two lines of nonsensical letters, and just maybe there was something foreign and sticky on the ‘x’ key that she had to clean off. You know, something like what just happened to me while typing this post.

While I can relate to many of the blogs I read, I find that when the “rubber meets the road” not everything can fit perfectly into my life. Let me use a dinner recipe as a metaphor. Let’s say I read a recipe and it sounds delicious. I will often tweak it though to fit my family’s tastes. No mushrooms. No walnuts. More chicken. More garlic. Then comes the pictures of the finished dish. I personally don’t usually perfectly place a sprig of parsley on every dish I make. Recipes can still be comforting, uplifting and delicious even if it’s all thrown willy-nilly into a bowl. Just like life!

Filed Under: miscellaneous Tagged With:

Make Problems Smaller

March 4, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Source: spdfoundation.net

Does your child ever flounder with a task because it seems too monumental to overcome? Whenever any of us faces a task that seems too large to bear, we struggle to even get started. As adults, we can compartmentalize our tasks so they don’t seem so overwhelming. We may have four hampers overflowing with dirty laundry and think it’ll never get done. But after we sort, we can see it as 5 loads, split over 2 days, for example.  Not so bad.

Most of the time, our kids don’t have this ability to compartmentalize. If they are faced with a huge task, they freeze at the mere sight of it. This typically comes into play with clean-up. I don’t require my boys to play with one toy at a time. I like the creativity they find in putting a Lego guy into a dinosaur’s mouth, for example. But when their free play time is over, they know they need to clean it all up.

If they can’t compartmentalize, I’ll talk them through it. I’ll say, first clean up the Legos. Then clean up the cars, and so on. Taking it step by step, we get it all done.

But recently, I noticed that the Legos were becoming too much to bear, even for me. We have a giant bin of Legos, but my boys would want to keep all of their current favorites out of the bin. Any time I put one of their favorites in the bin, they acted like I put it in the garbage. It was lost forever in their minds. The bin was too big to dump out, and there were too many to sort through to find that one little Lego.

Rather than having their favorites spread out all over the playroom, we agreed that a Ziploc bag would work. But then that bag got to be a problem. My boys got lazy with sorting their Legos and would throw any Lego that was on the floor into the bag. They clearly weren’t keeping just their favorites in that bag. But we still didn’t have a solution.

That is, until recently, when I was so fed up by it all that I dumped out the entire bin and sorted out the Legos that I thought were their favorites. They received two lunch boxes for Christmas, and they were perfect. I put all the minifigures in one box and all the specialty pieces in another box. A smaller, third box holds all of the tools and weapons (that I may take away entirely).

The rest of the plain Legos are in the bin, put away in my office. They aren’t allowed to have them. You see, I’m making sure the amount of Legos they have are sitting with them happily in their funnels. They can easily clean up these three boxes of Legos. They can easily sort them and put them away without it seeming like a monumental task. I’ve made our problem much smaller, so much so that it’s no longer a problem.

There have been one or two occasions when they ask for the other Legos, and I simply say no. They can’t have them back until I see a good two weeks or so of consistent Lego clean-up.

This idea of making problems smaller applies to many other areas of our lives as well. Say a child has a nasty attitude after watching an hour of TV. Simple. You cut it back to 30 minutes or take it away altogether for a little while. Say every time you bring out playdough, bits of it end up all over the floor. You cut the amount of playdough in half until the child can manage it better. Find a way to cut down any problem that seems to lie outside the child’s funnel until it’s no longer a problem.

Filed Under: miscellaneous Tagged With:

Sweat the Small Stuff

February 15, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Source: northtexaskids.com

Yes, you read that right. Typically, this phrase is preceded by the word “don’t” but I think in parenting, it’s perfectly fine and good to sweat the small stuff. As parents, our job is to train our children, in all things, big and small.

You probably know what I’m talking about, too. There are little habits that don’t spell doom for the rest of the child’s life, but they simply drive us crazy. They look something like this:

• Your child uses a ton of soap but still doesn’t manage to get his hands fully clean.

• He holds his fork horribly wrong.

• He fails to wipe his feet on the mat when walking through the door.

• She takes her shoes off the instant you get in the car.

• He turns his nose up at anything green on his plate.

• She forgets to flush the toilet.

• He eats with his mouth open and makes a ton of noise while eating.

• Every time he eats, he ends up with food all over his face.

• She doesn’t do a thorough job with anything (showering, sweeping, homework, picking up toys).

None of these examples will ruin a child. Yes, she will eventually flush the toilet every time she goes. Yes, he will eventually eat his vegetables. But the issue is whether these things drive you crazy and whether they’re important to you. If good manners are important to you, then by all means, teach him to hold his fork correctly and chew quietly. If you hate putting your child’s shoes on (again) every time you arrive somewhere, then train her to keep them on. If you want to teach your child that excellence lies in the details, then work with her to learn how to do every job carefully and thoroughly.

The next time something your child does nags at you, rather than letting it go, stop and decide whether it is something you want to train your child in. Decide whether it’s important to you, and if so, come up with a plan. It’s beyond the scope of this post to explain HOW to train a child in these things. The point is just that, as a parent, you have the power to train your child. Your job is to pass on your values. If something is important to you — even the small stuff — then make sure you are instilling that value in your child.

 

Filed Under: miscellaneous, moral training, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

Motherhood Is Love

February 7, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Source: feelingsbyvinod.blogspot.com

By Charisa Falcione

“Tonight I put my girls to bed and it was one of those times when the requests seemed endless. The stall tactics and the calls for me to come back were endless. I’m a tired mom. It’s been a long day. It’s been a day full of after-holiday crankiness. My kids have been hopped on sugar, missed naps, and exhaustion from endless fun. So what is my first reaction? Impatience! Irritability and probably inaudible whining. The truth that I’m failing to remember in this moment is that being a mom is all about this moment. This is the stuff that I was made for.”

I jotted this little blurb down a few days ago right after my kids finally quieted down. I’m so glad I remembered. Though it was a little too late, it’s a good sign that I remembered it at all since I was also overtired, hopped up on sugar, and exhausted from endless fun.

It all had me thinking, what does it mean to be a mom? I think “mom” is a verb. It’s an action. It’s 8-10 diapers a day. It’s hundreds of sandwiches and the seemingly never-ending potty training. It’s all the physical aspects of being a mom. But its one glaring, irrefutable quality is LOVE. My girls and I are still learning what it means to love. I have a chart on my fridge to remind me of what love is and what love isn’t. I believe the Bible gives the perfect definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:7-14. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

The other night when my girls were helpless to their emotions and desires, I could have shown them love, patience, kindness. Yes, I could have, but I didn’t. I plan to do it next time. That’s the best I can do: plan to do it next time. My plan will include going over this verse while I cook dinner. If you read my other post you might remember that around dinner time, I’m most prone to impatience. Simply reviewing my chart puts me closer to the GI-Joe status (knowing is half the battle). I hope that when these days arrive again (and they will, maybe even tonight), I will be a mom first. I will LOVE my kids.

Filed Under: miscellaneous

My Vaccine Story

February 6, 2013 by 6 Comments

Source: consciouslifenews.com

The AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) has just released a new vaccine schedule. It’s interesting that this should just come out because my own vaccine story had an interesting little development last week. Along with apparently 21% of the parent population, I choose to follow a delayed vaccine schedule with my kids. I follow a fairly natural lifestyle and diligently take my multivitamin, Vitamin D, and fish oils. When it comes to medication, I shy away from it as much as I can. In fact, both of my kids were born drug-free. Well, I had two small doses of an IV med with William, but no epidural with either of them.

Having given birth in a fairly natural setting, I learned that I didn’t necessarily need to give my kids that Hep B shot at birth. If I didn’t have it, they weren’t going to have it. That much was clear. Throughout William’s first year, for the most part, I listened to his doctor when she said which vaccines were recommended when. But she was also really good in helping me determine if I needed each and every shot at the time that the AAP recommended it. I had an inkling that I might wanted to follow my own schedule but I didn’t know where to start. I also knew that MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) was the one most commonly associated with problems, so I knew I was going to put that one off.

When William was a year old, I took him in for his well visit, and she told me about all the shots that were recommended for his age. I was a little bewildered by the fact that they wanted to pump all of this medication in my sweet child all at once. My sister’s kids came down with a case of whooping cough, and I knew it was bad news for babies, so I kept up with the DTaP vaccine. And while I had chicken pox as a kid, it wasn’t fun and I wanted to spare him the torture if I could. The doctor was also really adamant about polio since his own aunt suffered life-long trauma from it. So we left it at that. MMR was off the list…for the time being.

Well, just two weeks later, I heard in the news that an international traveler had brought measles to our area. A short 20-minute drive and a back luck encounter would have been bad news. So we headed back to the doctor for MMR.

Not long after, I happened to notice a little hiccup in William’s development. He stopped talking. He had been saying “mama” for about a month, starting at 11 months. Right around 12 months, at the same time he got the shots, he stopped talking altogether. I know there’s great debate about vaccines contributing to our Autism epidemic, and I’m still not sure how much stock I put into the idea, but I couldn’t help but make the connection. In fact, I feel lucky that I didn’t allow William to have all of those vaccines all at once. At least we waited the two weeks for MMR.

But here we were on this road to developmental delays. At about 18 months, William started getting speech therapy. And it wasn’t until he was about 2.5 that he started saying individual words, and then at age 3, he was speaking sentences.

Mind you, his SPD (sensory processing disorder) hadn’t yet been diagnosed and could have been a key player in his speech delay. The same holds true for his dairy allergy. I knew he didn’t tolerate dairy as a baby, but around a year old, I reintroduced it thinking that he had outgrown the allergy. (Little did I know that we rarely ever outgrow these things.) It’s entirely possible that it was a combination of all of these factors that contributed to his speech delay.

Soon after William turned 3, Lucas came along. I did my research and came up with a delayed schedule that I felt comfortable with. His doctor and I went over it, and while he disagreed with me (he’s a “by the book” doctor), there wasn’t much he could do to prevent me from following it. And we had much bigger things going on with Lucas, as he was admitted to the hospital at 2 months old with RSV and was subsequently diagnosed with asthma.

But as with William, I was preparing for the time when Lucas would hit a year old and we’d have to decide what to do about MMR. I spent countless time on the phone hunting down a pharmaceutical company that made the three vaccines (measles, mumps, and rubella) separately. Unfortunately, I had no luck. They had stopped making them separately.

Then when Lucas was about 13 or 14 months, we were exposed to the chicken pox. My sister had recognized it in her child after we had spent several days with them. Again, I didn’t want my child to have to suffer through the disease, so we rushed to the doctor and got the varicella vaccine. Apparently, it had done some good. Lucas suffered a very mild case of it, and luckily, he was well enough in time that we didn’t have to cancel our trip to New York!

After a change in doctors (and bad record-keeping), a visit to a naturopath, a mission to rid ourselves of food intolerances, and William’s SPD diagnosis, I became all the more fearful of vaccines. In fact, I learned that one of the symptoms of a food intolerances is red ears, and many times, when my kids were vaccinated, they walked away with bright red ears. There was something unnatural going on in their bodies, and it made me uncomfortable.

With William’s SPD diagnosis, I became all too aware of Autism, SPD, and all of the other afflictions that happen to children these days. With a year of speech therapy and 3.5 years of occupational therapy now, I am surrounded by it. Once a week, I get a glimpse into the world that exists for these children who don’t seem to have control over their bodies and their parents, some of whom seem to live life hanging by a thread.

Ultimately, my rule for vaccines became one of simplicity. It was merely this: I would allow one vaccine at a time (and discuss it with the physician, giving him great control over the decision) and that I would never vaccinate a child who showed signs of illness. If their immune system was already in overdrive and if vaccines were called into question by parents of kids with Autism, I was going to take a cautious route.

Well, it turns out that Lucas’ little life has been full of sickness. We were dealing with constant colds and tummy bugs (made worse by dairy), ear infections, fevers, asthma, and more. The child has never been healthy at his “well” visits. So his vaccines got pushed out. Always, in the back of my mind, was the idea that he had yet to receive MMR.

Now, as you might be able to tell, I’m not some dread-lock-wearing hippie who shuns all medical care and all vaccines. I eat organic food because it’s healthy. I got rid of our non-stick pans because of the chemicals that leach into our food. I did the same with all the plastic in my kitchen. So I choose to follow some natural lifestyle choices, but I always have a reason behind them. I didn’t unilaterally reject all vaccines. I know they are important, and there’s nothing more important to me than my children’s health. There just didn’t seem to be a driving force behind the MMR for Lucas.

This brings me to last week. A few days ago, I saw that our local newspaper posted on Facebook about a case of the measles in our county. And not only was it in our county, but the person who had contracted the disease frequented the same grocery store and Starbucks that we go to all time. This shopping center is within walking distance of my house, and it’s a nice little outing when we need to get out.

As you might imagine, I freaked out. The weight of my vaccine choices came crashing down on me in one fell swoop. Here I was with a child who could have been exposed to measles, and I could have had him vaccinated (while sick or otherwise), but hadn’t. The case of mommy guilt I had from giving birth to a second child with my husband in Kuwait paled in comparison to this vaccine doozy. And of course, I looked up the symptoms on the Internet (never a good idea) and was hit in the face with the word “encephalitis.”

The next morning, I had a doctor’s appointment for myself and brought my brood along with me. The minute we got there, I requested that Lucas get MMR. By this point, I had calmed down a bit and realized that we were never in the grocery store or Starbucks at the same time as the person with measles. It was close, but the grocery store is big, and the odds of him catching it hours later were slight. Nonetheless, he got the shot, even though he was sick. Of course, he was sick. But I couldn’t chance it. I figured, if anything, the shot might help reduce the significance of the illness, as it had done with the chicken pox, if he ended up getting it.

He spent the entire day after getting the shot sweating up a storm, apparently caused by a low-grade fever. But he tolerated the shot without incident. He’s still got a runny nose and a nasty cough, but I attribute that more to the cold and asthma than the shot.

William and I also got a couple shots. I was vaccinated against whooping cough since it’s going around, and William needed a second dose of MMR.

I also walked away from the experience with a renewed determination to get my kids caught up on their vaccines. I have printed out the AAP’s new schedule and I’ll compare it to their records to come up with a plan. Besides, now that they’re older, I feel like there’s very little chance that my kids will become Autistic.

So there you have it: my long, meandering vaccine story. I tell this not to influence you in any way about vaccines. I think everybody needs to make these choices for themselves, but I do think every parent should make a conscious, educated choice about vaccines. Perhaps you can learn a bit from my story.

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